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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22483465">Keep Me Closer</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/morningssofgold/pseuds/morningssofgold'>morningssofgold</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Prodigal Son (TV 2019)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Comfort/Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Mutual Pining, Psychological Trauma, Slow Burn, Slow Romance</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-01-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 07:27:28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,020</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22483465</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/morningssofgold/pseuds/morningssofgold</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Dani watched him for a moment. She’d seen many of his expressions before but never one of ease–of tranquility. She smiled a bit, knowing she’d helped him get there. Malcolm deserved it and he deserved it all of the time. No one should have to spend every waking moment surrounded by nightmares.</i>
</p><p>Malcolm receives the aftercare he deserves at the end of 1x11.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Malcolm Bright/Dani Powell</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>204</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Keep Me Closer</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>
  <i>I've learned to lose you, can't afford to</i>
  <br/>
  <i>Tore my shirt to stop you bleedin'</i>
  <br/>
  <i>But nothin' ever stops you leavin'</i>
  <br/>
  <i></i>
  <br/>
  <i>Quiet when I'm coming home and I'm on my own</i>
  <br/>
  <i>I could lie, say I like it like that, like it like that</i>
</p><p> <i>when the party's over // Billie Eilish</i></p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Damn it,” Dani gritted out, angrily yanking her earpiece out. The cabin was empty. Her friend, Malcolm Bright, had been missing for hours upon hours. He had been kidnapped by John Watkins, The Junkyard Killer. She’d seen Watkins’s handiwork firsthand. She couldn’t imagine what was happening to her friend. </p><p>Dani thought sure that cabin was where Watkins was holding him. She remembered the license plates Malcolm had asked her to run some time ago, she thought all of this came back to a camping trip he’d taken with his father when he was a child. </p><p>She’d thought wrong. </p><p>Dani covered her mouth as she turned around, trying to gather her composure. Trying to squelch her rising panic–the panic that was threatening to overtake her completely. She didn’t know where Malcolm was or what was happening to him. She felt powerless and <i>it was unbearable.</i></p><p>“Gil, he’s not here. <i>He’s not here</i>,” Dani’s voice shook violently as she called her boss, hoping he had something to tell her. Hoping he had a next plan of attack. Hoping he could tell her where her friend was and if he was okay. </p><p>Dani was known for her preternaturally calm disposition. She let nothing rattle her but this was different. She’d been just barely keeping it together all day. Malcolm was a restless soul. It was something she’d noticed about him almost instantly. He was always in motion–his mind included–he went off on these tangents because he <i>had</i> to. People called him dangerous. They called him unstable but she understood <i>why</i> he did the things he did. Malcolm was restless but then again so was she. She was just much better at hiding it. </p><p>Dani couldn’t hide it today. She was seconds away from completely losing it and she knew it.</p><p>–––––––––––––––</p><p>Dani looked out of the window as they made it back to the city. JT had wordlessly taken the keys from her. She appreciated him for it. She didn’t want to put words to what she was feeling right now. Her anxiety and despair forming a corrosive, consumptive cocktail that flooded every nerve-ending in her body. </p><p>This reaction, she didn’t understand it. She didn’t understand anything right now. All she knew is that she might never see her friend again. Dani remembered the lemon lime lollipop that Malcolm had presented to her so gallantly–as if he were Prince Charming with a glass slipper. She remembered the way he’d swept her up in his arms that night in his apartment as he’d asked her to dance. She remembered how he’d clutched her so tightly on the floor in the middle of the precinct as he came down from a night terror. She also remembered her insatiable urge to comfort him every time he needed it. </p><p>Dani didn’t know why but something had stirred within her. Something inside made her want to protect the troubled profiler and that feeling had never gone away. In fact, that feeling had only intensified and shifted into something else–something foreign to her.</p><p>Dani trusted no one but she trusted Malcolm Bright. She remembered those ice blue eyes as luminous as she’d ever seen them, innocently–earnestly–vowing that she could. She’d been taken aback–shaken by it. Not by the fact that she could trust him but by how it made her feel. Dani didn’t want to admit it to herself but that had been the start of her very complicated feelings toward the twisty brainiac.</p><p>And now she might never get a chance to act on those feelings. Truthfully, Dani didn’t actually want to. She didn’t want to venture into territory that would leave her exposed and vulnerable. She didn’t want to be left holding the bag especially if Malcolm didn’t feel the same way as she did. If he only wanted friendship from her. But Dani most definitely didn’t want to be robbed of the opportunity either. The door on those <i>what ifs</i> and <i>maybes</i> shut forever.</p><p>She was so consumed by her thoughts, she didn’t notice her phone buzzing where it rested in the cupholder. It was Gil. Dani’s hands shook as she answered, not knowing what type of news awaited her on the other end.</p><p>“Bright’s at the hospital.”</p><p>“He is? Is he okay?” Dani rushed out, sitting up in the seat. Her heart beating in double time.</p><p>“He says he’s fine but they’re checking him out.” <i>He says he’s fine</i>. Dani bent over, her head in her hand–somehow unable to keep herself upright. Her dark curls covered her lap. A laugh escaped her lips though she didn’t miss the hysteria coating it. Dani willed herself to keep it together.</p><p>“We’re on our way.”</p><p>–––––––––––––––––––</p><p>Gil met them at the entrance of the hospital. JT stopped to get the specifics of what happened. Where Malcolm had been held? How’d he escape? What happened to Watkins? Dani didn’t care about that right now. She just had to see Malcolm for herself. She had to make sure none of her worst nightmares had come true. She had to see him whole.</p><p>Dani dashed through the emergency room–flashing her badge–something that was always incredibly useful whenever she needed entrance anywhere. </p><p>Just as Dani briskly walked down the hallway looking for some sign of her friend, she saw him. Malcolm was walking out of an exam room. The light blue dress shirt she’d seen him in last was torn and dirty, stained with what she assumed was his own blood. His unreasonably handsome face was a bit bruised and his normally neatly combed hair was completely disheveled, falling in his eyes. </p><p>“Bright!” Dani didn’t know what came over her. Her combat booted feet moved quickly on their own volition. Before she knew what has happening, she wrapped her arms around him–squeezing him–needing to feel that he was real and that he was okay. His spicy cologne was overpowered by the acrid coppery scent of blood but Dani didn’t care. Malcolm was alive when all day she’d been tortured by thoughts that he wasn’t. Dani wasn’t even sure how she was still standing due to the relief flooding her body. She felt the tears prickling the back of her throat, “I thought I lost you.”</p><p>Malcolm stiffened a bit out of surprise before his arms wrapped around her too. He ran his hands up and down her back as he buried his face in her hair</p><p><i>What am I doing?</i> Dani realized a bit belatedly that she’d forgotten herself. She let her emotions get the best of her and she never did that. She flinched back, clearing her throat. Putting some space between them. She thought she saw disappointment flash through Malcolm’s nearly translucent eyes. Dani shook her head. She was sure she’d imagined it. All she saw presently was exhaustion and something else she couldn’t begin to name not after all he’d just been through.</p><p>“You can’t get rid of me that easily, Dani,” Malcolm gave her a tired smile. A shadow of his usual smirk.</p><p>“Obviously, not.” Dani crossed her arms, trying to shake off the awkwardness from her embarrassing display earlier. She didn’t want to seem overdramatic but that was exactly what she had done. “Um…is everything okay?”</p><p>“I don’t really know how to answer that,” Malcolm sighed, looking down, raking one of his hands through his hair. “Ainsley’s being held overnight for observation. She has a concussion and my mother is staying with her.”</p><p>“And you…are you okay?” Dani’s eyes went to the rather thick cast on his hand. </p><p>“Me? Yeah totally. I got by unscathed–or a little scathed I guess,” Malcolm said quickly, noticing where her eyes went. He flashed her a smile that she would’ve taken to be genuine if she didn’t know him so well. Dani had seen him like this before–overcompensating for something he’d rather not talk about. “I’m fine though. I discharged myself. I don’t really need more doctors fussing over me.”</p><p>Dani nodded, not believing him for a moment. <i>Something</i> had happened to him while he’d been held by Watkins. She didn’t know what it was but something wasn’t right and Malcolm definitely wasn’t fine. “I can take you home, if you want? Unless you wanna stay here with your family?”</p><p>Malcolm’s ice blue eyes warmed, fondness seeping into his gaze, “You’re always taking care of me. Always bringing me home.”</p><p>“What are friends for?” Dani mumbled, glancing down at her feet. Now that her relief had subsided, those <i>other</i> more complicated feelings had taken its place. She didn’t want to be <i>that girl</i> and she kind of hated herself for allowing it to happen. Feeling this way about a man who had no idea.This was completely unfamiliar territory for her. Dani was never one to let her heart get involved until it had and she’d been powerless to stop it.</p><p>Falling for Malcolm Bright was a bad idea. It wasn’t <i>him</i> though. Dani had told him that she didn’t think he needed fixing and she’d meant it. Malcolm was wonderful. He was kind, compassionate, gentle and sweet. He’d been through a lot of <i>really</i> bad things but he had a <i>really</i> good heart. He was a good man–a man she’d be proud to call hers.</p><p>Dani realized that none of these things Malcolm would actually believe if she told him. If there was some chance that he felt the same way she did and Dani had her doubts–she didn’t think he’d actually let her in anyway.</p><p>“Thank you. I’ll check on them in the morning. I’d really like to go home,” Malcolm answered, giving her a small but real smile. He didn’t seem to notice the change in her and she was grateful for that. He’d literally been through hell and back. Dani didn’t want to add on to the things that troubled him</p><p>“Come on, then.” Dani smiled, angling her head toward the doorway.</p><p>–––––––––––––––––</p><p>Dani walked into Malcolm’s apartment feeling the strongest sense of deja vu. Everything was exactly as she’d seen it last. His morose decor was still in place–his medieval weaponry still mounted on the wall. There was still a parakeet twittering in the corner. So much about his apartment could be considered off-putting but Dani had never felt that way. She’d always felt comfortable there–more comfortable than she had any right to, “Why don’t you go get cleaned up and I’ll fix you something to eat.” That deja vu feeling intensified as those were almost the exact same words she spoke to him the last time she was here.</p><p>Malcolm didn’t appear to have heard her as he stood, rooted in his spot looking around, taking in his familiar surroundings. Dani realized that there were probably many times during this day that had turned to night when Malcolm didn’t know if he would ever see his home again. She ached for him as she always seemed to whenever she thought about everything he went through–everything he carried with him.</p><p>“Bright?” She tried again. </p><p>Malcolm blinked at her before recovering, “Right! You’re right, I should go shower.” He placed the painkillers he’d been given on the kitchen island along with the other multitude of pill bottles lining the countertop, stepping out of the slippers he’d been wearing when she’d met him at the hospital. </p><p>Dani looked at him, feeling a little awkward about the question she was about to ask but it warranted asking all the the same, “Can…you…manage on your own?” He didn’t have the use of one of his hands and she wondered how he was going to get undressed. </p><p>Malcolm titled his head adorably, not understanding her for a moment before his eyes widened, heat flooding his cheeks, “Uh…yeah, I can do it–I mean, I think I got it.” He stammered before laughing a bit at himself, giving her flashbacks of the night she helped him into his restraints.</p><p>“Okay,” Dani said softly, trying to hide her smile. He’d been through so much on this day but he was still her friend–still Malcolm. “I’ll have something ready when you get out.”</p><p>“Grilled cheese?” Malcolm asked, his ice clear eyes sparkling with amusement, giving her a private smile. </p><p>She answered his smile with her own, Dani didn’t think he remembered much about that prior night in his apartment but apparently she was wrong.</p><p>––––––––––––––––</p><p>As Dani spread butter on the sides of the French bread she found in his rather empty cabinet, she heard a rather loud crash, followed by a very frustrated sounding groan. She went over to the bathroom, hoping to God that they weren’t about to have a repeat of the last time.</p><p>“Bright? You good?” She knocked on the door softly.</p><p>“That depends on your definition of ‘good,’” Malcolm answered tightly before she heard another rather loud crash. What was going on in there?</p><p>“Can I come in?” </p><p>“Sure, why not?” Malcolm's exasperation was obvious. </p><p>Dani slowly opened the bathroom door only to find Malcolm in a pair of dark gray sweats sitting low on his hips and nothing else. She didn’t want to ogle him but she couldn’t help but notice how nicely built he was. Though Malcolm was slim he was rather strong looking, she noted with surprise. His chest, shoulders and stomach all very nicely defined.That same stomach was bandaged heavily and Dani felt a bit sick realizing that the wound was courtesy of Watkins. “Apparently, I can’t wash my hair which is unfortunate because it’s caked with my own blood at the moment and <i>I can’t use my hand</i>.” </p><p>Malcolm looked about seconds away from a meltdown at his inability to get himself fully clean though Dani could tell it was likely a culmination of all of today’s events not just the result of a temporary physical limitation. </p><p>Dani knew she was wading into potentially choppy waters and about to blur lines that she <i>really</i> didn’t need to but she wanted to help him–take care of him. She always did.</p><p>“Dani, what are you…” Malcolm trailed off, his irritation with himself draining away as he watched her step around a pile of his discarded, ruined clothes, taking off her black leather jacket and her boots. She rolled up the sleeves to her purple sweater and stepped inside of the shower, adjusting the shower head so the water could rain down on his head and limit the possibility of her getting absolutely drenched.</p><p>“Come here.” </p><p>Malcolm’s mouth opened then closed then opened again, “Dani, you can’t be serious.”</p><p>Dani knew Malcolm bristled at people attempting to help him but at this point, he didn’t exactly have a choice. </p><p>“Oh, but I am,” she said archly, her brows raised. “Can you do it yourself?”</p><p>“No but–"</p><p>“Do you see anyone else here?” </p><p>“No but–"</p><p>“Okay then, now <i>come here</i>.” The edges of Malcolm’s lips curved up in a smile. He surrendered, knowing this wasn’t going to be an argument he could win. Dani was going to help him and he was going to let her. </p><p>Malcolm slowly–hesitantly–stepped into the shower, facing her. Dani reached around him, turning on the shower. She placed her hands on his firm biceps, gently pulling him in front of the shower spray. She didn’t want to look into those ice blue eyes–she wasn’t ready for what she might see. Dani didn’t want to lose her nerve. She didn’t want to think about what she was doing and what it meant. She was just helping her friend, right? She could lie to herself and say that was all it was and she liked it like that.</p><p>Dani squatted down, picking up one of the shampoo bottles he must’ve dropped trying to do everything himself with one hand. It was some two in one situation. Dani frowned before realizing that his hair probably didn’t require as much maintenance as hers did. She poured the shampoo and conditioner mixture into her hands, the rose scent of the product filled the bathroom.</p><p>“Close your eyes, okay?” Dani’s voice barely audible over the running of the shower. She didn’t know why she was whispering, it was almost as if anything louder would break the spell currently surrounding them.</p><p>Malcolm did as she said and Dani worked her fingers through his hair, deftly massaging the product through his thick, dark strands–careful not to disturb any wound he might have.</p><p>Dani saw the tense set of Malcolm’s shoulders loosen and the tiniest sigh escape his lips. It made her happy to see him accept her help–her comfort. She knew Malcolm wasn’t exactly a fan of comfort as he fought against it more often than not. Dani considered it a small victory that he let her take care of him with almost little resistance. </p><p><i>Maybe someday he’ll allow more</i>. The thought came out of nowhere and Dani pushed it aside–that wasn’t why she was here.</p><p>She gently pushed him back beneath the spray of the shower. As she watched the pink tinged suds run down his chest and arms and her already torn heart, ached even more. As the bloody suds filtered down the drain, she could only imagine what wounds she couldn’t see still remained. Dani lightly carded her fingers through Malcolm’s hair until the suds disappeared and the water ran clear. </p><p> “All done.” She said quietly, turning off the shower, watching as the tiny water droplets caught in his thick fringe of nearly black lashes. “Did I hurt you?”</p><p>Malcolm shook his head, his nearly translucent eyes–eyes that glowed in the dim bathroom light–opened slowly. Dani wanted to put space between them, she wanted to retreat. She didn’t wanted to be arrested–transfixed by the softness she saw staring back at her. The moment felt <i>so</i> intimate. It felt <i>too</i> intimate for a moment between friends.</p><p>“Thank you, Dani,” Malcolm’s voice was as quiet as hers had been and he seemed just as captivated just as struck as she was. She didn’t miss his gratitude–his wonder. Dani just didn’t know what to do with it–what to do about it.</p><p>After a few heartbeats, Dani mentally shook herself. She couldn’t stay like this, she had to do something. Stepping out of the shower, belatedly realizing that the sleeves of her sweater was soaked as well as the bottom of her jeans, she grabbed a fluffy white towel off of the rack so she could dry him off, “I promise I’m going to leave you alone after this.” </p><p>“Please don’t,” Malcolm said so quietly, his voice hushed. He appeared to be talking more to himself than her. Dani almost didn’t hear him as she gently ran the towel over his hair, lightly tugging at the strands. </p><p>Without thinking, she ran her fingers through Malcolm’s dark chestnut hair, checking if it was sufficiently dry. Her fingertips softly brushed his temples and Dani watched his eyes flutter shut at the sensation. She realized that this was all far too intimate for a moment between friends. Here she was crossing lines she knew she shouldn’t but Dani just couldn’t seem to stop. </p><p><i>What is wrong with me?</i> </p><p>–––––––––––––––––</p><p>As she pulled the lid down on the panini press, finally getting back to the grilled cheese she promised him, Dani realized that for someone who barely ate, Malcolm had an incredible amount of kitchen appliances. She looked up, feeling his eyes on her as they had been ever since they left the bathroom–ever since he let her help him.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>Malcolm’s lips twitched up in a humorless smile, his good hand underneath his chin as he sat across from her at the island, “You do so much for me and I honestly fail to see what you’re getting out of our little arrangement.”</p><p>Dani rolled her eyes. For someone so smart, he could be so incredibly dense sometimes, “This isn’t an arrangement, Bright. I’m here because I wanna be.”</p><p>“I find it hard to believe that instead of being asleep in your own bed tonight, you’d prefer to babysit the local screw up <i>yet again</i>.”</p><p>Putting the sandwiches onto a plate, Dani faced him head on. She wasn’t surprised to see the self-loathing coloring his nearly translucent eyes but it hurt her all the same. She knew he didn’t have a lot of friends other than his parakeet and those that appeared to accept him on the surface, ended up leaving once they really saw him–something she’d never do. Something she hadn’t ever done.</p><p>“Bright, I’m not your babysitter. I’m your friend and this isn’t a transaction. I don’t want anything from you.” </p><p>That wasn’t entirely true as there were quite a few things Dani wanted. She wanted his genuine smiles–not the smirky sardonic ones she saw at work. She wanted the ones that made his eyes crinkle adorably in the corners. She wanted him to really talk to her–to feel comfortable enough to share anything with her. She wanted the ugly things–the shameful things and she wanted to make them all better. She wanted his darkness so she could turn it to light. She wanted his warmth–the way she sometimes caught him looking at her–and she wanted it all the time. But most of all, she wanted his heart–something he would never give away. </p><p>“None of this is your fault, you’re not a screw up,” Dani said honestly, hoping that he’d believe her.</p><p>Malcolm looked down where his broken hand rested in his lap, he mumbled–his voice small,“You’re probably the only person in the world who believes that.”</p><p>“I’m okay with that. Sometimes all it takes is one person.”</p><p>Malcolm’s head lifted suddenly. He wordlessly blinked at her. Dani usually found the unpredictable profiler rather easy to read, she could always tell if he were upset or lying or just plain not present but at the moment, so many emotions flitted across his impossibly handsome face at once. </p><p>Dani didn’t know what she’d said to trigger such a reaction as she’d only been trying to encourage him but now he looked even more uncertain–more unsure of himself. She had no idea what he was thinking and she really wished she did.</p><p>Malcolm held her gaze, “I suppose you’re right.” </p><p>––––––––––––––</p><p>After they’d finished with the sandwiches, Malcolm insisted on loading the dishwasher and making tea because “I’m not an invalid, Dani.” She’d rolled her eyes at him but she understood. He just wanted to feel useful–capable–even if was for something so small.</p><p>It was getting incredibly late and Dani was starting to feel sleepy. The stress of the day had worn her down. She knew she had to get back to her apartment all the way in Riverdale but she didn’t want to leave Malcolm just yet–not after <i>everything</i>. </p><p>Running her hands over the navy pajama pants Malcolm lent her after her jeans had gotten soaked in the shower, there was just one question on her mind and Dani didn’t quite know how to ask.</p><p>“Bright, do you wanna talk about it–about everything?” Sitting on the the black leather couch beside him, Dani tucked her legs underneath her. It was an awkward way to start but she’d feel a lot better if she could get him to open up to her about what had happened tonight. </p><p>Dani knew firsthand what happened when Malcolm bottled things up. He became more manic and more unhinged and it never failed to worry her.</p><p>Malcolm tended to occupy this liminal space between here and not here. He was forever betwixt and between and Dani always worried about what would happen if he pushed himself too far–if he went too far.</p><p>Malcolm shifted his body towards her, his now black sweatpants covered knees inches from hers. He looked like he wanted to tell her “no” but she watched him search every inch of her face. She didn’t know what he’d seen but it must’ve helped him in some way. “I don’t really know where to start.”</p><p>Dani did and she had to ask the question that had been on her mind since she’d found him, “JT and I–we were looking for you and we couldn’t find you. Where was he keeping you?” She knew she should’ve been a bit more tactful but she had to know. She had to know what she’d missed. She had to know what had prevented her from getting to him sooner.</p><p>Dani watched as acute pain–the kind that couldn’t stay hidden–the kind that demanded to be felt–flooded his ice blue eyes. She reached out, squeezing his good hand. He squeezed back as he laced his fingers through hers. </p><p>Malcolm took a deep breath, trying to steady himself, “He was keeping me underneath my house. Not this one obviously–the one I grew up in. I guess that was where my father used to–“ His voice broke in time with her heart.</p><p>Malcolm had been right here in the city the entire time, literally hiding in plain sight. How much time had she wasted? She could’ve circled back. She could’ve helped him. The realization ate at her–it stung her but she wouldn’t say anything. She’d allow him this moment to unburden himself as he so rarely got the opportunity.</p><p>“I guess Watkins was disappointed that I’m not a homicidal maniac so he decided to try and change that.” Malcolm’s eyes drifted down to their interlocked fingers before continuing on–his voice growing quieter with each word. “He was going to slaughter my mother and sister with a axe while I remained chained and helpless. Maybe he was coming back for me–maybe he wasn’t, I don’t know and I didn’t care. All I know is that I had to protect my family.” </p><p>Malcolm didn’t tell Dani what he’d done exactly to protect his family but he didn’t have to. She <i>knew</i> and she squeezed his hand–reminding him that he wasn’t alone. That he didn’t have to get lost in those thoughts only to be left to drown. She was here and she’d keep him afloat–she’d anchor him.</p><p>“Is that how you hurt your hand?” Dani asked, finding her voice and hearing it break as it had broken each time she spoke of him today. “Trying to escape?”</p><p>“Yeah…well, apparently the width of my hand is five inches and because of the diameter of the cuffs, I only needed three inches…so…”</p><p><i>Malcolm had broken his own hand</i>. Dani was grateful he wasn’t looking at her because at the moment, she didn’t know what secrets were written all over her face. He called himself a screw up but he honestly couldn’t have been further from the truth. </p><p>Dani had spent most of her adult life around cops but that was the single bravest thing she’d ever heard. Malcolm had been bleeding and he had been bruised but he’d willingly caused himself even more pain because he had to. Because his family depended on him. Because they needed him. Most people wouldn’t have done that but Malcolm Bright had and those complicated, confusing feelings churned within her once again.</p><p>“Of course because it’s me after all, that absolutely couldn’t be the worst of it,” Malcolm’s head lifted, the devastation on his face betraying his flippant words. </p><p>Dani steeled herself because she was certain that Malcolm had alluded to killing Watkins himself. What could be worse than having to do <i>that</i>? What could be worse than being left with <i>no other choice but that</i>?</p><p>“What is it? What did he do to you, Bright?”</p><p>Malcolm unlaced his fingers from hers. Dani thought it was him now needing his space after all he’d shared with her but that wasn’t it at all. Malcolm then turned her hand over, his fingers lightly sliding along the delicate skin of her wrist before they settled at her pulse. Dani felt him apply gentle pressure and she looked up at him questioningly. </p><p>Malcolm’s eyes were closed, barely appearing conscious and aware of his actions. “Bright?” Dani tried again, making sure he was still with her.</p><p>Malcolm smiled mockingly, his nearly translucent eyes opened–thick with all of the tears he refused to let fall, “It’s not what he did. It’s what he said–what he told me. Watkins told me that my father planned to kill me on that camping trip. I know it’s silly as he’s a serial killer after all but there’s a part of me that believed that in his own twisted way, he loved me. Pathetic, right?”</p><p>The Surgeon was a horrible man–a predator of the worst kind and Dani wouldn’t have put it past him to want to kill his own son but she looked at Malcolm–<i>really</i> looked at him. In this moment, she didn’t see the 29 year old man who’d been through hell and lived to tell about it. She saw the lost ten year old boy who’d been betrayed and denied the love and protection from those who were rightly supposed to give it to him. </p><p>Dani forced herself not to react as she didn’t want him to misinterpret her anguish. The anguish she felt as if it were her own. She didn’t want him to think she were like all the others. The ones who came and the ones who went. Dani couldn’t imagine the <i>pain</i> he felt–the pain he let her see– all she knew is that she wanted to take it away–all of it. </p><p>Malcolm shouldered so much–he carried things with him that no one should have to and just for tonight, Dani wanted him to feel as though he didn’t have to.</p><p>–––––––––––––––––</p><p>Dani slowly got up from the couch, gently pulling her hand from his. “Are you leaving?” Malcolm asked, forlorn at the thought. Dani’s heart clenched at the idea of him wanting her to stay but she shook off the involuntary reaction. After all he’d been through–all he’d shared with her, she could see why he wouldn’t want to be alone. She felt his eyes follow her as she grabbed a pillow off of his bed.</p><p>“Where do you keep the extra blankets?”</p><p>“Uh...the linen closet down the hall.” Malcolm’s sadness had clearly shifted into confusion as he watched her snatch a soft black blanket off the top shelf before returning to him, unfolding it, spreading it over him. “Wait, are you tucking me in?”</p><p>Dani smirked, “Something like that.” She put the pillow over the armrest, ignoring Malcolm looking at her as if she’d suddenly sprouted feathers like his parakeet. She settled down on the couch behind him, “Lie back.”</p><p>“Dani…I…” Malcolm seemed at a loss for words once he realized what was happening. He didn’t need words, all he needed to do was lie back and let her help him as he’d done before. Dani knew weighted blankets helped with anxiety and since he didn’t have one, she’d have to do the job. </p><p>“Bright, it’s okay. I’m not gonna hurt you,” she said gently, coaxing him towards her. She didn’t want to wig him out, so she made sure she went slowly. Placing her palms against his back, feeling the sinewed definition through his thin gray tee shirt before wrapping her arms around his waist. She pulled him down, pressing her body against him. Situating herself so that his head fit neatly underneath her chin.</p><p>Malcolm had spent the entire day–his entire life–feeling unsafe, for tonight Dani wanted to change that.</p><p>Dani felt like she had her arms wrapped around a statue, he was so tight–so tense. This wasn’t exactly how she wanted this to go. She wanted him to rest. She hoped she didn’t just make everything worse.</p><p>“Bright, you can relax. You can rest.”</p><p>A breathy, humorless laugh escaped his lips, “I haven’t rested in <i>so</i> long.”</p><p>“Tonight, you can. Can you let me take care of you, Bright?” Dani asked softly, scooting down a bit so that her chin rested on his shoulder. She tightened her hold on him, tracing small circles against the corded muscles of his stomach, avoiding the heavy bandages wrapping around his sternum.</p><p>Dani felt Malcolm tremble against her and she wondered if she’d said–done the wrong thing until she felt his muscles relax and his breathing deepen. All of the fight leaving him at once. Dani smiled into his rose scented hair–she’d won.</p><p>––––––––––––––––</p><p>“Dani?” Malcolm asked suddenly, his voice seeming to echo in the stillness of the darkened apartment.</p><p>They’d been like this for awhile. Dani held him and Malcolm let her. She was hoping that he’d fallen asleep. After all, she was pretty close to that herself. She liked how he felt in her arms. She enjoyed his warmth and how solid he was. The only thing keeping her from drifting off was the knowledge that she did eventually need to get home. This wasn’t real. She had to get back to the quiet of her apartment in the Bronx, where she’d be alone again and after this, she could lie and say she liked it like that.</p><p>“Hmm?”</p><p>“You never said anything about what I told you.”</p><p>She shifted a bit, wondering what he was getting at, “What do you mean?”</p><p>“When I told you about my father, you didn’t say anything.” Malcolm’s voice sounded unsure and Dani couldn’t believe that despite her literally laying here being what amounted to a human weighted blanket just so he’d feel safe, Malcolm was checking to make sure she didn’t think less of him. He was truly unbelievable.</p><p>“Bright, I didn’t think you wanted me to say anything. Sometimes it helps to just listen.”</p><p>“I guess,” he allowed, shifting a bit himself, covering the hand that lay flat against his stomach with his own. “But I wanna know what you think.”</p><p>“After everything, <i>I</i> think you’re gonna be okay.” Dani meant it. Malcolm was the strongest person she’d ever known. He had bent–much further than she could stand at times–but he never broke and if she had anything to say about it–he never would.</p><p>Malcolm said nothing, a long sigh–the kind she felt come from deep within him–answered her instead. Dani didn’t know for sure but she thought just maybe he believed her.</p><p>–––––––––––––––––</p><p>After she was sure Malcolm had fallen asleep, Dani shimmied out from behind him, moving incrementally so she wouldn’t disturb the rest she knew was so very hard to come by. </p><p>She watched him for a moment. She’d seen many of his expressions before but never one of ease–of tranquility. Dani smiled a bit, knowing she’d helped him get there. Malcolm deserved it and he deserved it all of the time. No one should have to spend every waking moment surrounded by nightmares.</p><p>Before collecting her things and quietly slipping out of the door and into the night that had turned to morning, Dani pressed a kiss to Malcolm’s forehead, lingering a bit longer than she should’ve. </p><p>“Sweet dreams, Bright.”</p><p>––––––––––––––––––</p><p>Malcolm turned on his back, staring up at his exposed ceiling. He closed his eyes, replaying the two heartbeats Dani’s soft lips were pressed to his skin. </p><p>Malcolm wasn’t asleep–he never had been. He wouldn’t allow himself to fall asleep and not remember what Dani’s arms felt like around him. Her Dove soap scent engulfing him. He’d never met anyone as strong as Dani but she’d felt so small–so delicate pressed up against him. He wanted to turn over and wrap his arms around <i>her<i>. He’d wanted it badly</i></i></p><p>Malcolm remembered what she’d done for him. The gentle, patient way she’d run her fingers through his hair as she washed it because he couldn’t do it for himself. Then she’d asked if she’d hurt him. She hadn’t–not in the way she was asking.</p><p>Malcolm had to physically force himself to keep his hands at his sides–to not reach out for her. He’d wanted to encircle Dani’s small frame as the warm shower spray ran over both of them. He wanted nothing else other than to hold her–to fall into the illusion that nothing existed beyond the two of them. It was a fantasy and Malcolm had scolded himself for devoting one second of thought to something so outlandish. His friend was here helping him when she didn’t have to be. He had no right to think of her in that way.</p><p>Though he had no right, it didn’t stop Malcolm for doing so. <i>Sometimes all it takes is one person</i>, Dani’s voice circled through his mind. It was strange but Malcolm loved Dani’s voice. He loved the huskiness and the rounded vowels of her Bronx accent. He loved even more when she said his name, it made him feel present–not like the listless specter that twisted in the wind, a feeling that had intensified ever since Watkins tore his world apart. When Dani said that, she’d been trying to make him feel better but suddenly Malcolm understood something he didn’t think she’d even been trying to say.</p><p><i>She</i> was his person. It was undeniable and at this point Malcolm couldn’t even try. Dani understood him. She accepted him. She protected him. All of which Malcolm was immensely grateful for but he’d always felt like the stray puppy that had found his way to Dani's doorstep. The awkward rich boy who couldn’t take care of himself. Never once did Malcolm think Dani believed that he could be a partner. Someone she could lean on when she needed it. Someone who could take care of <i>her</i> when she needed it. Someone capable of giving far more than he took.</p><p>There was a reason why Malcolm hadn’t asked Dani on a date. It wasn’t because he hadn’t noticed her beauty–he had. Dani was stunning, that fact had never been lost on him. It also wasn’t because she didn’t know him–she knew too much already.</p><p>Malcolm didn’t ask Dani out because he didn’t want to see the look on her achingly pretty face when she attempted to let him down easy–he couldn’t face what he thought was inevitable rejection–not from her. Malcolm was content being her friend, ignoring the tiny voice that wished she’d keep him closer.</p><p>That said, Malcolm never imagined he’d ever be that close to her. He never imagined Dani would wrap her arms around him, her delicate hand tracing small circles on his stomach. Her chin resting on his shoulder, her curls brushing his cheek as they lay without even the surrounding darkness in between them. It felt so very intimate–it felt nice.</p><p>–––––––––––––</p><p>Malcolm sighed as he continued to look up as though the ceiling would give him the answers he’d only find within him. </p><p><i>Can you let me take care of you, Bright</i>? It had been a simple ask but Malcolm had felt his heart leave his chest–torn open and defenseless at Dani’s tenderness. He could say it was the aftermath of such a harrowing day. He could say it was because of his nerves–frayed and left raw after what he’d done–what he’d been forced to do–what he’d endured but that wouldn’t have been the whole truth. The sobs had wracked his body because he’d been completely undone by this perfect woman–by Dani Powell. She’d asked permission to care for him when no one had ever offered such a thing in the first place. </p><p>Dani said that she wouldn’t hurt him but feeling her lips on his skin–she had in fact done just that. She’d developed feelings for him and knowing it, <i>hurt</i>. Malcolm thought of all the things she’d done for him tonight and why she'd done them. Her care hadn’t been born of pity at all. He meant something to her. </p><p>Malcolm had never had much experience with feeling wanted–after one got over his looks and wealth–there wasn’t much left to want. Dani had seen all of the things inside of him, she’d seen his darkness and she wanted him anyway. That knowledge <i>hurt</i>. </p><p>It hurt because Dani had been right there. He’d been awake when she kissed him. Malcolm could’ve made his self-indulgent fantasies a reality. When Dani leaned over him, he could’ve slowly, gently run his fingertips along the elegant column of her neck, winding his fingers beneath her soft, fragrant curls and kissed her fully and for real. He could’ve let her know that she wasn’t alone in her feelings for him. He could’ve let her know that she never had been. He could’ve showed her what she meant to him. He could've asked her to stay but he didn’t. He’d pretended to be asleep like a coward–hiding from the best thing that could ever happen to him. </p><p>Malcolm had seen so many expressions shine through Dani’s beautiful brown eyes when she looked at him. He’d seen her amusement and her annoyance. More recently, he’d seen her compassion, her worry and then her relief. Had he just opened his eyes and kissed her back what more would he have seen? Would he have seen her eyes hooded with desire for him? Would she have looked at him as though he were the only man in the world–the only man for her? Malcolm didn’t know. His eyes had remained closed and he saw nothing. But he guessed that nothing was better sometimes, especially when it came to him.</p><p>He turned over on his side–the place that Dani had kept warm had now grown cold. The side of his face pressed into the pillow that now smelled just like her hair–something coconut that reminded him of summer. He closed his eyes tightly against the wave of loneliness that threatened to overtake him–overwhelm him. </p><p>Malcolm was alone now and it was all his fault but he could lie and say he liked it like that.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>As always massive thanks to @2amEuphoria for brainstorming this with me and for sending me the hair washing prompt and the kiss prompt. I'm definitely out of my comfort zone with this one but I hope everyone enjoys reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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